Dispatches From the Burnout Ward
What a two-time survivor really thinks of an extra week vacation
Bumble made waves recently by giving all employees an extra week’s vacation to help deal with pandemic burnout.
While I applaud the intent and subsequent wave of think-pieces encouraging other companies to follow suit, I have one reservation. As someone who has combatted workplace burnout twice, an extra week ain’t worth sh*t.
My first experience with workplace burnout happened in 2018. I was dealing with the unexpected and tragic death of someone dear to me. The grief was overwhelming and I tried to compartmentalize it the only way I knew how — by focusing on work.
I love what I do and take great pride in my focus and drive. But grief is a beast that will only stay on the back-burner for so long. Despite my every effort, the overwhelming feelings dealing with his loss hit me head-on. I had a total nervous breakdown. Can you guess the location? Correct, I was at my computer in the middle of the office.
I took stress leave that day and was off for two months. Multiple mental health experts all told me the same thing: when you’re under extreme stress, it takes a week just to decompress, to stop feeling the urge to check work email and think of an item on your “to-do” list.
From there it takes another week to get to a relaxed state. So unless this “bonus week” is tacked onto an existing one- or two-week vacation, you’re just keeping your employees in a cycle of mild relaxation.
My second bout with burnout was a little sneakier. The pandemic threw everyone for a loop, so I took great comfort that everyone was as blindsided and anxious as I was. But for me, staying motivated had an extra hurdle to cross.
See, I was already planning on leaving my job when the pandemic hit.
The urge to leave started soon after I returned from stress leave. After two months off to deal with grief, anxiety and depression, I came back to the office looking for ways to be engaged and energized by my work again. I never found it.
Truth be told, I had been drifting away from my work for a while. I worked on a daytime lifestyle show, which simply speaking is television for moms. More inclusively it’s parents, but it’s mainly for anyone running a household and raising a family.
I’ve never been interested in having kids, so I’ve always had to put on someone else’s lens in my creative work. But I started to wonder, where’s the daytime show for me? Where’s the lifestyle content that reflects a happily single, childless, world-travelling dog mom? And why can’t this show reflect that?
For my entire career, I would take time off at the end of summer/early fall to regroup. It would be in the form of a two-week vacation, usually across some ocean where the change in scenery and new stimulation would give me a new perspective in what I wanted for the next year.
I associate this time with summer hiatus, my birthday, a new school year.
When I was engaged with the show, my summer recommitment would begin with “This season I want to…” followed by a new responsibility to take on or problem to tackle.
But as I more confidently settled into my single self, and further from the central focus of the show, those statements were less commital.
“I can do one more season if…”
“Maybe I can coast through one more and focus on a side gig”.
The final year, my season mission was “I’m tapped out, but I can support the younger staff who are still into it”.
Mercifully I was restructured one year into the pandemic, otherwise my summer recommitment would have been agonizing. But looking back at this recent career transition, I wish I had taken a different approach to deciding how and why I wanted to commit to another season.
I spent months meditating on my skills, my passions and what I want in a future employer. There were three key questions to answer:
What motivates me to get up every morning?
How and where do I want to spend most of day?
How do I measure success right now?
The answers changed frequently as I was unpacking 10 years of a job that took up a large part of my identity. But over time I came up with a picture of how I want to work right now.
I want to use my communication skills to help people make better sense of this changing world. More specifically, I want to help people understand TV production so their remote hits look and sound better.
I want to spend most of my day writing — either my thoughts or quick bits of important information
Success right now is being able to pay my bills, work from home and have the time to build a media consulting company
I kept this picture in mind as I interviewed for jobs that really weren’t the right fit, but then turned them into networking meetings to point me in the right direction. Also, as I reach out to people I think might benefit from my consulting services (a marketing skill brand new to me, but I’m learning fast).
So now I work freelance in news, which gives me the time and brain space to build my company on the side. This month I have worked pretty much every day (sidelined only once by a migraine). I haven’t felt this energized in years.
Instead of using this summer to commit to one job, I’m committing to opportunities that serve my picture of what I want my work life to be.
I imagine those Bumble employees enjoying an extra week off will be doing their own work inventory — especially as we navigate the next phase of going back to work.
If you are fortunate enough to get some mental clarity and brain space this summer, take the time to see if this job is really working out for you and not the other way around.
