In Praise of Journals
How putting pen to paper helped me make sense of the labyrinth of my mind
Google any self-help or self-improvement question and chances are one piece of advice will pop up time and time again: keep a journal. There’s a reason it’s a go-to piece of advice for mental health advocates and productivity gurus alike. When your thoughts have no place to go, they just cycle around and around in your mind. In times of stress and trauma (hello pandemic living) these thoughts pick up new ways to feel anxious with each cycle.
But when you give voice to these thoughts, it stops the cycle. They move from a place of marinating to the point of rot, to being served on a platter ready for the next step. Some thoughts aren’t ready to be said out loud, however, so the next best thing is to write it down.
I’ve been journaling for as long as I can remember. In school, journal writing was an actual gradable activity in English class. Back then I was opinionated and informed. Well, as informed as you can be as a teenager in the pre-Internet 90’s. I read the newspaper and watched the news. This showed up in my journals and I was encouraged by many teachers to keep it up.
I’m a natural introvert. Talking about my feelings has always been a struggle. Journals have been a life-long respite for me to work out what’s going on in the life I’m currently living and how I want my future to be. And it’s been vital in this time of change as I navigate this next phase of my career, clinging to the benefits of working from home and finding a way to make it permanent.
So, in honour of journaling I’m writing out my systems and how they work for me. The older I get and the busier I get, the more important it is to write things out so great ideas aren’t forgotten. Same with important adulting tasks (hello pension transfer I’ve been putting off since February).
1. A journal for feelings
This has been my main purpose for journaling and as an adult I had to learn how to do this properly. I feeling-journaled a lot in my 20’s: my first adult breakup (a catastrophic event that fed my anxiety and depression for years); work anxiety and the struggle to commit to a career-path; and just general questioning “am I adulting the right way?”
But I made a lot of mistakes in this style of journaling. For one, I crafted a ritual of drinking a glass of wine before journaling. One glass lead to two then many over the course of a journaling session. My journal entries just reflected the same cyclical catastrophic thinking. I kept circling around ways I was inadequate. Too fat to date. Men were intimidated by my ambition. No one understood me. It wasn’t until I sought the help of a therapist that I learned to journal better for mental health.
I still do stream-of-consciousness writing, but wine is not allowed. This is a sober exploration, a wide awake check-in on how I’m feeling, what contributed to this, and how I want to feel next. It’s a space for planning and list-making. A space to explore other perspectives and other points of view.
The point of journaling is to accept the feelings of the moment but then using it as a tool to move forward. Over time you’ll notice patterns and track personal growth. And if you don’t see that happening naturally in your journals, there’s nothing wrong with seeking professional help.
2. Journals for creative building
When I lost my job in February I felt a huge weight lifted. For years I worked under the objectives and purpose of a specific show on a specific network. My creative ideas were constantly filtered through those lenses.
Now there’s nothing wrong with this. It’s the cost of getting paid for your creativity. I was rewarded with medical benefits, savings plans, paid vacation and a pension. But it filled so much of my creative attention. And in recent years, my own life shifted away from the corporate lens I was required to use.
Mainstream TV (and lifestyle in particular) focuses on the family. The nature of this “family” is more inclusive than in the past, but it’s still a departure from the single-and-childless-by-choice life I’m living and loving. This is the weight lifted from my creative mind and it instantly opened up a floodgate of ideas.
I needed a way to manage this flood of ideas. There are still only so many hours in a day and there’s no way I could pay attention to all of the ideas popping up in my head — thrilled to see sunlight after a decade being buried under mom-content.
So I have a journal specifically for ideas. Each idea has its own page. Many are just one-liners to return to one day for development. Others spilled over into an actual plan and to-do list. Those have evolved into actual products and services I’ve published and am starting to publicize.
3. Journal as to-do list
This approach is less permanent than the paper-based journals for ideas and feelings, but is no less important.
Now, I’m well aware that there are countless to-do list apps available to help organize your life. The only app I bother to keep updated is my calendar, and that’s only because it’s connected to my website for future clients to book time with me.
Maybe it’s my Gen-X reluctance to be entirely online and screen-based, but when something is really important to me, if it needs to be really cemented in my brain, I need to physically write it out. Typing it into a phone means I’m reliant on notifications and checking in on my phone. Writing it down places it in a part of my brain that’s easier to access.
My to-do lists are written on white boards. I have one in my office split into two sections. One section has the list of my upcoming news writing shifts (a constantly moving schedule that is written out on four different calendars to make sure I never forget when to log in. It’s happened once already). The other side is the to-do list for my new consulting business. My third to-do list is the non-money-making but important tasks to keep my house and life in order.
There’s no pressure to tend to all of these lists everyday. Other singles will recognize the added pressure of the household to-do list. There’s no partner or roommate or friend to “outsource” a task to when life is overwhelming. I’m an industry of one and have learned I will get to these things when I CAN get to it — meaning when I have the bandwidth to deal with it. It’s not going to be immediate and it won’t be on your timeline.
It’s also not procrastinating.
Every day is a negotiation of priorities. Having these three to-do lists visible every morning allows me to look at what I have to deal with and prioritize my day. It might mean an important banking appointment to transfer my pension is left until a week before the deadline. That’s just because my priority list has been otherwise taken up with more immediate (and more immediately paying) tasks.
This is also how I’m able to carve out necessary down time. When I have a scheduled day off from my news writing job, there are the other two lists to tend to. In that case I get to decide how much time to devote to whatever is coming up.
Now I doubt an app on my phone is going to have the same feeling of satisfaction when I literally erase a shift or to-do off my list. Or in wiping off a list entirely to reset the next planning phase. The sense of control and order is so important in managing a bunch of different projects and priorities.
There’s no shortage of ways to journal and track your ideas and their progress. However you journal, the act of writing it down makes things real, tangible. It’s the easiest way to realize your dreams.
